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“The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites” – I So Hate Consequences

“And when you say I’m dead and gone, it won’t be further from the truth” – When I Go Down

“I’m really starting to despise beautiful people” – My Girlfriend

“Cause its the beauty of grace that makes life not fair” – Be My Escape

“Paper, rock, and scissors, they all have their pros and cons” – The Only Thing Worse Than Beating a Dead Horse is Betting On One

“And then I’ll go eat cereal and stare out the window” - Jefferson Aeroplane

“…A.D.D. branded into our mentality…” – Maintain Consciousness

“I tried to hold your hand, but you’d rather hold your grudge… ” – Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet

“Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth…” – The Truth

“When I got tired of running from you // I stopped right there to catch my breath // There your words they caught my ears // You said, “I miss you son. Come home” – I So Hate Consequences

“Jesus loved the outcasts, he loves the ones the world just loves to hate. And as long as there’s a heaven, they’ll be failure to excommunicate.” – Failure to Excommunicate

“If it hurts, Kiss it better.”- Jefferson Aeroplane

“I’ll save your plunging neck line, kiss your face, you try and deck mine” – Jeferson Aeroplane

“And maybe you can sypathize with the bags under my eye// and we’ll see the signs are saying that we’ve used up all our tries//to be a better person//to be a better friend//to be a better son.” – Jefferson Aeroplane

“Hey taxi, take me strait to the heart of it. The nucleous of poiltics where somebody, somebody started it.” – Life After Death and Taxes (Faliure II)

“When I go down, I go down hard, and I take everything I’ve learned and teach myself some disregard.” – When I Go Down

“Yo, you stick around like a fly on the wall. With Surround Sound you find that you hear it all.” – Silly Shoes

“I said the words I knew you knew. Oh god, oh god I needed you. God all this time I needed you, I needed you.” – I So Hate Consequences

“I think it might just be alright,to leave what matters outta sight.” – Trademark

“If the home is where the heart is, then my home is where you are” – I’m Taking You with Me

“And this is how choose to live, as if I’m jumpig off a cliff”

“They all dig my band-yeah I’m a rocking horse.” – May the Horse Be With You

“We should get jerseys, cuz we make a good team. But yours would look better than mine because your outta my league… ” – Must of Done Something Right

“When it comes to relationships, I’m the dumbest one. And I don’t mean just with girls, I mean with everyone”- Chap Stick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry.

“The navy showed up at my dorm and claimed that I’d enlisted” – College Kids

“Because the Judge of you is Someone I could never be is why you should thank the Lord that it is Him, and it’s not me”. – Hope for Every Fallen Man

“Thank you, God, for giving me the insight, so I might make these wrongs right if and when there ever is a next time, ’cause failure is a blessing in disguise.” – Devastation and Reform

“He said, ‘I love you, and that’s what you are getting yourself into.’” – Getting into You

“I think I can’t, I think I can’t. But I think you can, I think you can.” – For the Moments I Feel Faint

“Take a good look at yourself and know – you’ve got yourself a ways to go, but difficult is not impossible. You can take back all the lost control. Take a good look at yourself and see that you’ll emerge eventually. As long as your heart’s not too far gone from the only Thing that can save you from yourself.” – Hope for Every Fallen Man

“But this was my deathbed. I died there alone. When I closed my eyes tonight, You carried me home.” – Deathbed

“Sweeping off the seconds that tick off the clock. Saving it for later when I’m too ticked to talk.” – Bite My Tongue

“And repitition’s just like prison. And I prefer to be out of place, ’cause I’m not really into prison.” – Wit’s All Been Done Before

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“I’m eating a bagel that I thought was going to be plain, turns out it’s jalepeno, not a nice suprise” – to Jennifer

“Everything broke on stage tonight. I broke 3 bass strings, some hillbilly broke the banjo, Dave broke his cowbell, Hoopes broke his calculator, and Thiessen broke his left vocal chord.”

“I was feeling a bit “jumpy” which was due perhaps to too much Red Bull. Speaking of which, I just found out online that for a person with my exact weight the absolute limit is 127 cans of Red Bull. The 128th can would kill me. So drink up, but be careful, kids.”

“Racking my brain here to think of anything else of moment that happened tonight…. um…. hmmm… oh yeah, I sprouted wings and flew over a cornfield.”

“I want to be a full-time dreamer.”

“Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds in way. Along came a spider, and sat down besides her, and she ate that too.”

“Hello RK crazed fans, this is John. I’m the one with an H that plays the bass notes that make the ladies swoon. That or drop dead.”

“I’m John Waaarrne!”

“Ring, ring I’m a phone. Pick me up! That is all.”

“Can’t say I smash a whole lot of beer bottles, but when I do I quite enjoy it. So should every sane person…”

“Oh, I’ve got so many bananas.”

(What’s the worst way any of you guys have been dumped?) “One girl left me on a rainy street-corner at night under a dim lamp with flowers in my hand and sadness in my heart.”

“During soundcheck Thiessen got on the organ and started playing Phantom of the Opera, his favorite dark showtune masterpiece. In fact he has a signed poster from one of the shows. Ask him. As for me, I rigged up some ropes to fly me around the room a la Dante’s Inferno whilst the dolorous melody built to a crescendo. A most chilling scene.”

John: I think she’s a vixen Hoopes: A vixen? John: Yes Hoopes: What does that even mean? Dave: Isn’t that one of the reindeer or something John: Yes, it means she’s a reindeer…yeah

“And in the midst of this melee I came to the realization that Drew Carey was correct in his assertion that Cleveland does indeed rock. Instead of giving the show two thumbs up I will give it an index finger and a pinky up.”

“The worst part of the day for me was when I nearly passed out inhaling all the helium from a balloon. The best part was the high-pitched voice that followed.”

“I afterwards slightly redeemed myself by being able to get up on a pair of waterskis and stay up for a few minutes. I say slightly because after-all, they’re still dorky waterskis. At the houseboat I also started and finished the last installment in the Harry Potter series. If you’re a fan, this book won’t disappoint. Okay, I go from waterskis to Harry Potter. What a geek.”

*pointing index finger* “GET IN THE ZONE AUTO ZONE!!!”

“Its going to be Crumbalievable!”

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“Well, I guess I’d better start working out then!!” – (in response to being referred to as a sex symbol)

“I chased a little kittencat around outside. If I would’ve caught it I would’ve dressed it up like ghost and scared brian half to death.”

“We were off of the highway eating somewhere, and Brian saw a sign for a thrift store. The sign said “jesus rules 50percent off everything” We though that was really funny. So, Brian and I went to investigate the thrift store, and (much to our dismay) it was closed. A sign on the wall outside said “bicycles outside are all 5.99″…So, I found this really cute pink bike, and i left 6 bucks under the bike rack. I love my new bike.”

“I also got a barbie bell for my bike today. Ding ding”

“I’m allergic to decapitation. Don’t try me.”

“Food was eaten, showers were taken, teeth were brushed, shoes were worn, and high fives were distributed.”

“Hey everybody – It’s Matt Thiessen from RK. Here’s another update on the new record…. but first I thought I’d share a haunting tale.So, I go to see a movie in Canton the other day with my buddies John and Kevan. It’s a crappy, rainy day in OH (which is quite frequent). We’re in the theater, and halfway through the movie I realize I don’t have my keys on me. Losing stuff like that is pretty commonplace for me, so I didn’t freak out or anything. BUT, after the movie was over, it hit me that I didn’t remember bringing in my keys. My friends and I searched under the seats ofthe theater, and the security people brought out this lost keys bin…. BUT no dice (dice = keys). So I assume that I locked them in the car…. not the biggest deal…but not a conflict I was looking forward to remedying. So the three of us walked outside, and as we approached my car I noticed my lights were on. Upon closer examination I came to the ridiculous conclusion that.. I LEFT MY KEYS IN THE IGNITION AND MY CAR RUNNING THROUGH THE ENTIRE MOVIE!!!!!! My doors were unlocked as well. The three of us had quite a laugh over it…who forgets to turn off their car!?”

“I’m sorry your mom hates us. I hate your mom. just kidding.”

“3/3/03 *day off look!!!! ..today’s date has a lot of “threes” in it. Its like a forest of threes. Lets chop them down and roast fluffy puff marshmallows by a fire that we could potentially make.”

“Dave wore all camouflage today. I couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“Brian drank sea water because he wanted to be like a shark. He said later that he felt really sick.”

“I’m going to hold my breath till i pass out so i can go to sleep faster.”

“I am string cheese.”

“I’ll just say this…I almost (and I stress almost) would have rather gone out, and over the span of 6 years, bought a puppy, named him Molasses, walked him, fed him, fallen in love with him, watched him grow into a strong responsible dog, bared my soul to him, and then watch him run into heavy traffic and DIE…then see that movie in the first place (let alone EVER AGAIN). I just kinda disturbed myself…”

“This is Fort Washington (holds up his keyboard)cuz that’s what I named him…just now”

“Everyone likes to breathe…I think.”

“I remember my sweet 16. I got a Malibu Barbie. And I kissed a boy…wait, that’s gross.”

Fav thing to do with the band: “Invent games to play. One time we invented a game called Spam Ball. You take Spam out of the can and use brooms to play a messy version or street hockey.”

“Before the show, the sound system was being weird, and the lighting board crashed 3 times. We went on about 45 minutes too late. Thankfully, nobody in the crowd threw a brick on stage with a message that said “I was supposed to catch a bus home about 15 minutes ago. You owe me $4.35 for the bus ticket and a new brick.”

“If you guys are gonna throw things at me… like snap bracelets… please don’t aim them at my face.”

(while singing Sadie Hawkins Dance) “a bug just flew in my mouth and i swallowed it, but that’s not nearly as gross as you’ll be if you don’t sing the next part of this song”

“I wish i could eat cake and shave at the same time”

“This next song is another one from our album ‘Mmhmm’… I hate saying that.”

“Originally, Madison, Wisconsin, was named after me. (MattThiessen, WI) But y’know how Americans are lazy, and changed “You all” to “ya’ll”, “MattThiessen” changed to Madison.”

“Once when I was shaving my arms, I shaved one off. Then I sowed it back on with dental floss. Then I lied to you again.” “My car broke down 2 weeks ago, and I’ve been driving around in the band’s 15 passenger van. Not really that styling, but I’ve been picking up chicks. 14 of them at a time.” “I think that ‘therapeutic’ is hard to spell, but also a very satisfying thing to know how to spell.”

“Our bass drum was just broken by the sheer power of Dave Douglas’s foot.”

[While on stage] “I just got hit with a dime… and a ball… and another ball. I’m getting hit with things. Many many things!”

“I just made an elephant noise with my mouth and seriously contemplated how to spell it… It can’t be spelled…”

“Whew. Look at all that information in that little tiny space! I must have magical powers.”

I couldn’t get girls to go out with me at my school [so] I’d show up to prom with girls from other schools and all the jocks would be like “How did he hook up with this hot chick?”

“I bet if I was walking by your house, you would invite me in for pizza.”

“The show was a fun time. Did I enjoy myself? You bet your armhair I did.”

“We did some playing, hanging outish stuff, and topped the night off with some hoteling. Then I murdered Brian.”

“Our whole band is totally crushing on Ryan Cabrera. I actually just had to google “Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend” to find out what the heck Ryan Cabrera’s name is. I knew he was that one cute kid with the acoustic guitar, though. None of us are crushing on Ryan Cabrera anymore. Except for Matt Hoopes.”

“Our dressing room smelled like 10 horses had finished a game of poker in there the night before. (and horses don’t interrupt a game of poker to go to the bathroom … if you get my drift). I think they were betting with cow chips too.”

“I’ve been killing spiders since I was 30.”

“What’s the point of being a cowboy if you’ve always got to work?”

“We drove home and slept in our rooms with our nightlights off, so we could scare the bajeebers out of ourselves.”

“One time I offered to rake my neighbor’s leaves for ten cents an hour. I was so stupid.”

“I saw a stray dog. He did not attempt to bite my calf. He was clearly intimidated. Next time, I will smear Alpo on my calves and see if he gets a little more couragous. He won’t. This is due to one major factor. I am AWESOME.”

“I’m going to go write a book about how much fun it is to write books about avoiding exercise by writing books instead of exercising. And then I’m gonna go work out. Actually, no. I won’t work out. I will sleep instead.”

“Dave had to wear his shirt today, cause all these stiffly stiffersons didn’t understand that the concept that males going shirtless in public is well within the boundaries of the customs of the society in which we live. Dave used to wear a shirt, but then he’d get so aweaty that he’d take it off two songs in anyway. So now, he just doesn’t wear one. Its kinda like swimming…only in your own sweat (which is more fun, i think).”

“The show was fun and crazy and whacky and splendid and spacious and friday and sugary and timeless and horse cavities.”

“Tonight’s crowd was by far the best of this tour. They all ran around with mustard packets going completely nuts. Except I lied about the mustard packets.”

“The place we played today was huge. You could’ve probably fit the whole Indian Ocean inside of it. Nobody ever talks about the Indian Ocean. How sad.”

“Are You guys ready for the Baby-Got-Backstreet-Boys?”

“If I keep writing It’ll start sounding like this. I just typed the letter “L”. I put quotations around it. I enjoyed that very much. Pretty much there is no physical way of me adding anything to this entry unless I put my computer down, go do something awesome, and then come back and write about it. Tell you what. I’m going to put this down and go do something AWESOME, but, you will NEVER know what it was, cause I’m not coming back. In your face, you.”

“We hung out at the Major League Baseball tent today, and I threw a 83mph fastball. With my left arm. BUZZZZ!!!!!!! Hoopes just buzzed me for lying. He follows me around with a buzzer. He’s kinda like my personal Pinnochio’s nose.”

“I dreamed of Canadian geese mistaking me for their leader and following me to the end of their days.”

“The Suicide Machines played today. Despite the scary picture their name creates in my head, the band is great.”

“I came to a conclusion today. Our band is from Ohio. But the physical object that our band was named after was created in Michigan. The conclusion I drew was that our band is technically originally derived from Michigan. OH and MI don’t get along that well, so its nice to establish some neutral territory for RK. We’re kind of like lake Erie. Actually we’re a LOT like lake Erie. So many things in common. We’re both responsible for the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald (consult your history books). We both like rock and roll. We both have names of lakes or cars in our names.”

“Dave and I LOVE to watch NFL and drink black coffee (but not always at the same time). And people thought we weren’t manly”

“I bought my mom a chocolate malt about 4 hours ago”

“Sometimes I go over to Matt Hoopes’ place for a ‘hoopes turkey sandwich’. We make them with barbecue sauce and microwave them for 23 seconds. So good.”

“Our band does whatever we can to get out of paying for food. The number of unnecessary celebration dinners held last year was startling.”

“I made a paper airplane big enough for a pony!”

“At the end of the day, we got a fish-tank, two fighting fish, and pitted them against each other in, what we thought would be, an epic battle. Turns out that it was a lady fish and a man fish, and they just kissed on the lips the whole time. Love is a mystery than can only be grasped by the weak and vulnerable.”

“I had one of the best banana’s of my life. Gwen would be proud.”

“Matt H’s dog came out to the show today. He’s bitten me twice. I may throw him on a rotisserie grill one of these days. Wiener dogs. Ugh.”

“Our really great friend Sam Barnhart (formerly of Bleach) has decided to join us on the road and assume the role of road pastor for a few days. We’re so happy to have such a good buddy joining us. To celebrate his arrival we all went out into the street and shot pistols into the air. The police were called…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….by us…..we needed more gunfire.”

“Today was pretty typical. Jon and John got in a wrestling match that lasted for about 6 and a half hours, I got trapped in the freezer section of your local grocery store, and Hoopes sat in a chair.”

“Today I started what I am deeming a new trend for me and my pre-show activities. I snuck into Simple Plan’s dressing room and stole a red bull before we played. Thats like a triple rush. The sneaking. The thieving. And the red bull.”

“…After that I went to this crazy store called Walmart. It was beautiful. I bought some rollerskates, the new Toby Keith record, and a bag of gummy worms….ALL UNDER ONE ROOF!!! I will now repent my lies.”

“My buddy Kyle Simmons from Sly’s Alter Ego had a birthday today, and he and his bandmate, Jeff, picked me up and took me out to pick up a lovely toothbrush to replace the decent one that I had left in a hotel in Nashville. I always buy the most expensive toothbrush I can find. Cause if its a $5 toothbrush and you use it for a month, it averages out to about 16.6 cents a day…that means its about 8.3 cents a use. Where as a $3 toothbrush only saves you a few cents a day. Go big. Always go big. “

“I’m sick of being a computer nerd, so i’m going to go do something else. Probably play our Tiger Woods video game. Cause thats what cool kids do.”

“Th-. *someone screams “BLAH!!!”* You interupted me. Thats not nice.”

“Hey this is matt thiessen and I–I don’t have any cabbages…well maybe one ha ha” ::bites into a cabbage::

“Did you just sign rainforest. That made my day. *signs rainforest repeatedly* Now, I’m not swearing at you, I’m just signing rainforest.”

“This is a … from the heart, thank you to Audio Adrenaline because … a you, you … I don’t know … You opened your arms to us, you let us come in and we stole your monitor guy and your guitar player. So thanks for the guitar player and monitor guy, not pictured.”

“Later we’re gonna talk bout it annd I’ll say, ‘Hey Dave. do you remember when I sweated on you?’ And you’ll say, ‘Yeah, Matt, it was kind of gross.’”

“Today we went to the six flags theme park in Ohio. It was all going too perfect,when the band got to go on the epic, best of the best roller coaster out there.I, being freaked out by the gnarly, beast it was,sat in the very last seat,next to Hoopes.which I regret.The roller coaster started going up hill slowly,but dropped at a height of 60 feet and a speed of 90 miles per hour!Hoopes sceamed like a girl!it was SO funny!”

“For a week, my friend Greg went around the school trying to get enough donated cash to pay this girl I liked to kiss me on the cheek. I found out about it and almost threw up.”

“Books are for….people who…..like to read”

*when on stage, made everyone start waving hands back and forth before a song* “haha i just jinxed all you. you all owe me a coke”

“Philipe. That’s so cool! It’s like a Spanish Philip.”

“I stole another red bull tonight. But I got caught. Security pulled me out of SP’s room as I screamed “I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you darn kids!!!” Then someone pulled my Matthew Thiessen mask off to reveal that I was indeed Hulk Hogan the ENTIRE time”

“I’ll make a bowl of soup every once and a while…just to stir things up.”

“Say chubby bunny eats spaghetti.”

“Cupcake’s in first place that’s right!”

“This was brought to you by the conjugation of the verb “to see”, lasers, googly eyes, and fun.”

“I turned into a bullet and mghmmmhgm”

“I couldn’t find him anywhere, but I called my Mom and she said he was out in the woods cutting down trees. I should’ve guessed. Isn’t that what most people do on a Friday morning? Breakfast followed by a hearty session of TGIFSICCDST (Thank goodness its Friday so I can cut down some trees).”

“There is no bad luck… just trials traveling in packs. When it rains it pours, but after it pours it stops.”

“Hear that? That’s the sound of a good grape ’cause I pick good grapes!”

“Jon Schneck’s dad also showed up. He was wearing his clothes from work, and they were soaked to the bone. Wait. Not really. No bones were involved. He was just covered in rain. And the rain stuck to his clothes and made them very heavy. Therefore, Mr. Schneck slipped and fell down in the mud. We all danced around him and called him ‘fraidy cat. I don’t really know why.”

“I saw the craziest lightning I’ve ever witnessed. It flashed horizontally across the base of the black clouds like an electric snake, and then, in all its truimph, the lightning took a ninety degree plunge towards the earth. I wish I would’ve been struck by it. It was a lightening bolt that commanded respect, and I would’ve been honored to be smote down by its raw energy and power.”

“Scott, our soundguy/tour manager, bought a bike the other day at Walmart. He totally wiped out today and cut his hands and elbows up pretty bad. I told him to suck it up, and then I kicked him in the shin. He thanked me tenderly for my actions.”

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“Matty took a swim in the chocolate river and apparently contaminated it… we ended up costing them about 40 billion dollars, but I guess that’s just life…”

“We finally arrived at the border, where our bus almost got siezed because of hoopes’ BB gun, that he HAD to bring with him.”

“I will crush you!”

“the show was a show, but THEN… on the last song of the night, matt got held captive by jango fett, some storm troopers, and none other than darth vader. our guitar tech ryan got his right arm shot off, and our stage manager eric got into a light saber fight with darth himself. they agreed to let us go , on the condition that we purchase the newly released dvd from george lucas… we told them we would, but we spent the money on canadian bacon, and milk in a bag… silly storm troopers… theyll believe anything you tell them with a wink and a smile.”

“I might have landed two punches to the body, and by the body I mean skimmed your shirt. And I got about six really good ones either to the side of the head or right to the face and at one point I thought my nose was going to start bleeding.”

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“If anyone asks what I collect, I’m gonna say $100 bills.”

Submit your favorite quotes through the contact form below!

“I heard that Matt was talking trash. That’s just like him.”

“I have a part time job as a Teddy Bear. Squeeze me.”

“You should rap about the rainforest.”

“Don’t stick your fingers in the peanut butter jar.”

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